I came across a married woman in October last year, asking people around for where she could have a safe abortion. It came across to me as a rude awakening that married women too get ‘unwanted pregnancies’.
I tried a poll, little response. Personally, I disagree with the term -unplanned pregnancy in reference to married women. You are either actively trying to avoid a pregnancy or you are not. The surprise look is the one that baffles me, but a person who has been playing with snake is likely to be bitten na. This is not to say that I do not understand that it comes too sudden after childbirth or unexpectedly for some women. I do. All I know is that I am anti-abortion.
Ife bala aba abago- Phyno.
I tried rubbing minds with Tola and she gave me this piece. She scratched nicely at it and threw the question back. Oversense,hehehe.
Tola Omoniyi is a working wife and mum with a little 2 year old madam who runs circles around her mummy and daddy every single day! She blogs about being a mum at www.Callmemummy.com and she’s also on Twitter and Google+, most times!
When I was approached by Chioma to write a blog post on unplanned pregnancies and the married mother I took a deep breathe because this is an interesting but controversial topic.
Do I have any professional or personal experience to talk about? No, but I’m a married mother so I believe that’s good enough for me!
A planned pregnancy is a blessing but it can also take its toll on anyone, especially if the experience was traumatic and maybe led to an unplanned caesarean operation or post natal depression. It can affect you physically, mentally, emotionally and even financially!
Now, imagine this – You’ve had your 1st child, exciting times, a bit of a daunting and life changing experience but thank God you sha carried your baby with your own hands out of the hospital. It was a touch and go at some point and the doctor said you need to rest for a few while and take it easy since the pregnancy and delivery took its toll on your health big time.
Fast forward to a few months and you find out that you’re 8 weeks pregnant.
Oh My God! How did this happen?! (Well, we know HOW it happened!)What to do?
The way I see it, you have two options:
1. Carry on the pregnancy to term; after all, children are gifts from God.
2. Speak to your doctor/gynaecologist about your concerns and take it from there.
The first option if I can be honest is rather optimist but myopic while the second is a little bit more practical. Before you bite my head off, hear me out first;
Physically and mentally, the body and mind is still recovering, especially if one had a traumatic birth and putting pressure on it(i.e. getting pregnant so quickly) to go through the process again can have its risks – you won’t knowingly use a non-serviced car for a 8 hour journey would you? So why do the same for your body?
Not listening to the signs our body gives us is unhealthy and dangerous, especially in Nigeria where the general health system – let’s be honest – is not all that.
A professional doctor can give you the complete picture for your situation, the pros and cons of going through an unplanned pregnancy especially once they know your medical history.
They can give advice on the necessary precautions to take; in some extreme cases terminating a pregnancy might be the best medical advice if the body cannot cope.
I know this might seem harsh but think about this –is it fair to carry a high-risk pregnancy if there is an even greater risk to one’s life?
Going through an unplanned pregnancy after a harrowing experience needs to be well thought through and the first step is to get informed.
Only we as mothers truly understand where the shoe fits or pinches as the case maybe so we need to make the best decision for ourselves and families.
Obviously, this is something we need to discuss in-depth with our significant other and you both need to understand the situation.
Once that is done, we can make the necessary situation as a family and pray for the best!
I could go on and on about unplanned pregnancies but I need to end with one last thought – Birth Control, it works 99.8% of the time and prevention is better than cure!
Don’t hope you won’t get pregnant or think that breastfeeding is going to prevent you from getting pregnant – that’s an old wives tale for another day!
Find a family planning method which works for you and stick with it till you as a family are ready and able to take good care of your little bundle of joy!
I know we all have stories about unplanned pregnancies (both second hand and first hand stories!)so I’d love to hear about it! Have you had an unplanned pregnancy? How did you feel about it? What did you do? Please drop your thoughts and comments below.
2 thoughts on “Unplanned pregnancy and the married woman”
Honestly, unplanned pregnancy scares the crap out of me!
I’m not even married yet oh!
Also, family planning/pregnancy prevention methods sound so tedious!
What’s a girl like me to do?!
I’d really appreciate some good response