What if we are all justified?

Everyday brings new understanding and learning to those who have open and willing minds.

In the past, I always wondered why two people would quit talking to each other over misunderstandings? Why isn’t the wrong party always clear? Why wont the wrong party apologise?

I realised, it is because we feel justified in our grievances. So what if we are all justified? I think I am right and you think you are right?


‘Dont let the sun go down on your anger’ is easier said than done. Is it practicable however? Yes!

The concept of apologising when I was right made little sense to me till I got married. I am a chatterbox and my husband is quite a good chatter partner. Do you know what silent treatment would do to me? I could die drom the silence!

So in those early days, Kabiyesi drummed it constantly into my ears, and I would like to share the phrase

“Everyday counts, every minute we spend not talking to each other can never be gotten back”

You would be unhappy, your mouth would just get unneccesary stale breath because you are forming shakara and silent treatment.

Every relationship matters, be it spousal or otherwise.

What if we move from feeling justified, to the state of relationship valuing?

Each time you get hurt, remember the value of that friendship, this pride is a mighty stubborn thing. The way to defeat it is fight it with memories of that value. I say sorry not because I am wrong always, but because I value my friendship/relationship more than being right.

Say no to silent treatments today, say no to smelly mouths, say no to being justified.

And dont despair when you find yourself not apologising when you are right or wrong, its hard for me too, but this life na turn by turn.

Sometimes its him, sometimes its me, sometimes its my friends, sometimes its me.

Since we are all getting along, I think we are doing it right.

Olori Achalugo.


One thought on “What if we are all justified?

  1. I like the points you’ve raised. But it’s important to realise that relationships are a 2 way street.
    And sometimes, the persons in the relationship don’t have have the same degree of affection for each other.
    Would you stay with a friend who does their absolute best to put you down?
    That is the question.


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