The Cyber-bullification of Love



Celebrity couple A. Post a picture of them kissing at an outing.

Comment B: See how they are putting up this picture as if they are happy, we know you are dying underneath

Comments as this are no longer strange on social media. I have a couple of friends who go on dates with their significant other, and they send me a photograph privately and say

“Acha, see what we were up to, I wanted to put it on facebook but you know bad belle people”

Further discussions always show that some people have no problems posting any other kind of activity on their social media platforms, but when it comes to loveydovey photos, No.

And I wonder to myself, this manner of cyber bullying everyone is beginning to accept as normal. I cannot even start telling anyone to move on if they do not like a picture, impossible, the bitterness in their fingers usually wins.

Why are your new loubs okay on your page and your friend at a nightout with her husband or fiance is not?

We have seen a couple of marriages hit the rocks, despite these couples putting up all sort of photos and love messages to themselves. Then someone ignorantly opines that the reason for the breakup are these posts, or that we would not make fun of them so much if they didnt make public their love.

Lawyers are like Doctors in some way, you are there first hand to see the suffering of your patient. I have come across heart wrenching divorce cases, no matter the reason, there is this pain of loss associated with it that I see them struggle to shake off.

I find that the last thing people who are breaking up need, are your bullshit opinions on what caused it.

Life is too short, live in the present and be happy all you want. Sometimes I read comments on KimK’s page and I ask myself

‘What if she is truly happy?’

It is very okay to derive happiness and satisfaction from something, from love, even if momentarily.

So away from love that people think will go/have gone sour, what about those who are in love and intend to be in it till death do them part? Doesn’t it feel foolish to cyber-bully their love as well?

The conspiracy theories are unending;

I. He is married to an actress, all actresses are ashawos forget he is looking like he is okay with her in that post.

ii. She is married to an actor and forming they are in love, all actors sleep with other women in location.

iii. Her husband is extremely rich, why is she posing with him as if they are happy when we know she married him for money and he married her because she is fine.

iv. He doesnt love her oh, they got married because she was pregnant now they are snapping pictures and pretending to be happy.

…feel free to add yours.

I tell you people I hate sterotypes, now it has the temerity to attack love!

People are dating and put up photos and you say ‘Ahhh wrong, what if they break up?’ And I say what if they do not? It is okay to think about the other side of things,  but not to let it be our guide.

Okay, for a moment, let us imagine Mrs.A is truly in an unhappy marriage and trying to work things out. She puts up a happy looking picture when deep down she/they are not. And so what!?

Maybe truly they are packaging, dont we all at some point in life? Didn’t some people contract out their university projects to present some fine work intended to fool their panels into thinking they are intelligent?

That should be our worry sef, inefficiencies that have been packaged to look so good and now disturb the equilibrum at our workplaces. Or the packaged pretenders in church who fool those they can? You know? Etc etc.

Social media is here with all its pro and con baggages,and that is why something as beautiful as loving and being loved in return can be subjected to online negativity.

February the 14th cometh soon, cyber-bullies of love need to do the world a favour and begin now to practise how to look away from public display of love that is chooking them in their bone marrow and spirit.

Looking forward to liking and hearting all the kisses, roses, proposals, dinner dates and all of that sort that shall appear on my various social platforms.

If you desire a full reality show of what an everyday marriage may look like, ever heard of ‘Edge of Paradise’ showing on Dstv’s Channel African Magic? Damn! Those Anyanwus’ are real enough for the rest of us.

Summarily, every relationship has got its fair dose of ups and downs. Personally, there are times we quarrel and I feel like putting Salt in Kabiyesi’s tea. But a huge commendation to those who keep it working.

The lovers of public displays of affection, those who even without expressing typing it, lace it with the requisite emotions that we know they infer their love or partners. I know them on my timelines. Theirs is an all season declaration of love, Daddy Irfan, ChizzyPee, Dimeji, myself, and every other person so in love that they cannot sit still or keep mute. To those who like us like that, hopeless romantics like my friend Amara, we are glad we inspire you and wish you all the love.

Marriage and being in Love is a tad like dettol, if your partner doesnt shack you? Who will?

Signing out in full today,
Achalugo Tomato-Jos Ezekobe.
(Just in case anybody finds a coke with my name on it)


13 thoughts on “The Cyber-bullification of Love

  1. I have seen coke with your name oh!! Infact, am packaging it and sending it via Ekene Dili Chukwu right to ur doorstep. Abi make I send am via Cross Lines or AKTC?

    Cyber bullying no get part 2 these days. only the stong at heart survive.


  2. Tell them! Yes, just like John Legend sang, “PDA, We just don’t care.” Love is a beautiful thing, and public displays of affection goes hand in hand with it. So tbh, if anyone is really upset that someone is showing how much they love their significant other by sharing photos, then they are the problem.
    And yes, I admit, I am actually a hopeless romantic 😍😍😍


  3. Hi, Achalugo, I am following you and I wonder why I dont get updates from your blog. Any way ‘bullification’ started even before the cyber part, I wonder why people dont like seeing people happy and so would anything to prove that you are indeed not happy, friends, family, neighbours, they are all involved. I think it’s a human thing that we have to make a conscious effort to overcome. How is life treating you at your end?


  4. Why am I just seeing this blog? This is the 5th write-up I am reading this morning and I think this is a brilliant write-up. We are so full of negativity as a people and at times, it even limits actual feelings from the cyber bullied ones. Nice one Acha


  5. Interesting, funny, thought provoking, sometimes sobering,……so many more positive adjectives can be used to qualify the noun ‘Achalugowrites’. Nne, biko, keep it up!

    Liked by 1 person

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