My Whatsapp chats are where everything happens, my own 360° lifestyle hub. I have conversations that uplift, I engage with people’s fears, we have joyful conversations, and of course, the times that we don’t agree.
“I am not ready for sex education!” She blurted out.
So my friend sends me a message from the blues, navy blues if I’m honest, so you know how dark a blue it was.
“Acha, my daughter’s breasts are growing!😢”
I was taken aback, because that’s what I expect female breasts to do, grow!
“Won’t it grow before?”
“I am not ready for sex education!” She blurted out.
I laughed long and hard, and teased her
“You know her period will follow soon, right?”
I think these conversations do not have to be initiated by their bodies, they should begin a long time before them.
And my friend wailed some more.
It was easy to laugh, but we had a conversation around buying bra tops and this puberty thing.
A little while after, it hit me. Just some years ago, we were running about being sweet sixteens -now our babies are growing.
I decided to admit that even though my daughters are a little bit far from growing their breasts, I couldn’t be certain how I’d react when it was time.
I think I’d be fine, I also thought my friend would be. This is because we are pretty outspoken, and extroverts seem to never have certain problems -like talking.
Yet, I’m asking the same questions. Are we ready? Sometimes, you can’t say till it’s time.
Can we work on being ready? I think so.
What I know for certain nonetheless, and guides me, is that you cannot speak to a ten year old you didn’t speak with in the last nine years.
I think these conversations do not have to be initiated by their bodies, they should begin a long time before puberty knocks. It is easier to confide in a friend than a stranger.
Are we friends or strangers to these kids? How many of us have found the balance between being their friends and being their parents?
A lot of conversations I have point to some of us being upset with the absence or sort of sex education they had. They grew up and hated the don’t let a boy touch you you would get pregnant kind of sex education. They grew up and hated the way we were told to keep ourselves and not the how or why. They swore to do better.
And now it is time, are we ready to walk our talk?
Love and light,
Achalugo
ACHALUGO'S 
I don’t know how it would feel having such conversations with my own kids if I ever get blessed to become a father. I am sure it would be a little different from the conversations I had with my nephews. Anyhow, I too have sworn to not repeat the mistakes of our parents who were too out of touch to see the necessity of talking about the nitty-gritty of our sexual development. I think it is mandatory we equip ourselves as much as we can for the sheer implication of what may happen if we do shirk this great and crucial responsibility. God help us.
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That line, you can’t speak to a ten year old you didn’t speak to in nine years hit the spot.
Looking forward to more posts for on you. Thank you Acha!
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A nice right up that portrays reality and the fears that comes with being a guide to a teenager… I’m currently in such hot seat with my junior sister. When I see her around boys, I’m so mad… But what happens when I’m not there? Sex education will do… but how do I even go about it when I received none. My kids in the future is still another future fear.
Sex education will do
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I always encourage my 3 year old to talk. People say she talks so much, I immediately tell them I like it like that. I gist with her even if I sometimes can’t make out what she says but we just converse. I encourage her to play with me as much as possible – using me for horseback rides, pulling me to come and see whatever in her room etc because I just want her to know that it is very comfortable to talk to us.
Being a man, most of my female friends have said it was their fathers that even taught them about puberty, menses and shiiii so I dey prepare my mind and take lessons… Lol.
Would hit you up on Whatsapp when it’s time to take further lectures too.
Cheers
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I have a daughter…. Not sure I’ll be ever ready… But when the time comes… And the time is here… I must be ready.
Thank you!
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Absolutely terrific
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Nwunyem oh! Welcome back! Now let me binge read. I shall come back with my thoughts afterwards.
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Hahahaha! Daalu
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