Why I don’t have a househelp…and why you shouldn’t

I hate sterotypes, strongly, maybe because I am a victim myself. There is a sport I cannot play, the sport of generalising, of using a one-size-fits-all approach to matters.

I have been seriously referred to as Mammywater, kudos to my Mtn complexion, also all lightskinned females bleach, all pretty females are harlots, add your own. It hurts, stop eeet!

So you must have heard, all househelps are wicked, possessed, lazy, dirty, will snatch your husband, *insert yours here*.

Now, lets kill this sterotype –  the ‘I have a househelp sterotype’, I dont, you shouldn’t.  Let us replace it with the ‘I have a domestic staff’ one. See? Easy, now we both do not have househelps anymore.

I happen to make up my mind on the kind of person you are, based on the way you treat a domestic staff and (shoot me) nomenclature is a big deal to me. So here is one top reason you should not have a househelp;

1. Because the young girl living with you is a human being and has a name, and it is not ‘househelp’. If any amibo insists on knowing the role anyone plays in your house, kindly refer to her as your domestic staff. Sounds nicer.

and here are a bit of popular misbehaviours some madams should repent of; (using an hypothetic relationship between a mother of the house and a young domestic staff, herein after referred to as DS)

2. Your DS is not your child’s mother. Do not hand over a 100% to her and be answering mommy for mouth.

3. Your DS is not your husband’s wife. Do not leave her to run all the wifely errands then wake up tomorrow and be looking for who slept with your husband.  When last did you make your man a meal? You really cannot be that busy darling.

3. Your DS is not a robot. ‘Ngozi! Wash the plates’ ‘Ngozi! Wash those clothes’ ‘Ngozi! Run to the market’ all under two minutes. Ngozi na person o

4. Your DS is not a punching bag. Please stop beating other people’s children unneccessarily. Half of the people guilty would bring down the roof of a school if their child were to be tapped small with toy cane.

5. Your DS dont have to look like a somalian refugee, go shopping for her, it wont kill you! You look like crap when your kids come out looking nice and their minder looks like spoilt egusi.

6. Your DS needs to be constantly learning, whether formal or informal, and if they are below 16, please ensure that they are getting secondary school education.

7. Your DS wont die from eating freshly served food, quit the leftover food behaviour. Never starve her as punishment

8. Your DS deserves some dignity, do not put her down in front of your guests or children. Do not allow anyone talk rudely to her. Do not allow anyone make her run errands in their own houses.

9. Your DS is not allergic to icecreams, cakes and the likes you get for your kids too. Go ahead, buy for her. When you visit places, insist on refreshment for her if anyone wants to sideline her.

10. Do not talk about her. Chances are that people want to tell you how and how to search for signs of witchcraft, husband snatching, rudeness, etc. Feed on positivity.

I believe in an equal opportunity world, I believe that all things being equal, people who are treated well respond with equal amounts of goodness. 

Do not tell me ‘Achalugo, you cant understand, you have not seen the bad ones’

Oh baby, I have.

I have seen the bad ones, but most importantly, I declare most solemnly today,  that I have seen the good ones being illtreated.

End domestic staff violence today.

Achalugo.

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